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When you make it easy for other people
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motorbearings








Registrato: 19/09/17 04:32
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motorbearings is offline 






MessaggioInviato: Lun Apr 23, 2018 10:06 am    Oggetto:  When you make it easy for other people
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  That can't be good for anyone, but especially the person who finds themselves staying late at the end of the day to get their own work done after they've finished everyone else's; or who swallows their resentment when they are 'volunteered' for something they don't want to do; or who quakes at the idea of having to be a bit tougher with a supplier or even someone they manage.



  While in many circumstances assertiveness can be a straight jacket of it's own (often creating resistance and resentment), the full lexicon of behaviour can be freeing, because there is choice in the matter. Most 'unassertive' people have conversations in their heads about how to resolve a conflict they're in; but still, their mouths say 'yes', while their heads say 'no'. For a more in-depth look, do have a peek at the book. Then everything would be all right. The key word here is appropriate.



  Changing Others by Changing Yourself

  A lot of us wish that the person we are in conflict with, or feel intimidated by, would change. At this point people can start to 'choose' to have these feelings rather than having to endure them or trying to pretend they are not happening. You're going to ask me to finish the Henderson report. You can see it coming.



  There are three ways this 'explosion' can happen. The concept of asserting yourself, (getting your voice heard, being understood, being taken into account, getting your own way) needs to be broadened to include all forms of behaviour.

  Which would you burgle?



  When you make it easy for other people, they will naturally keep coming back. They will still feel overwhelmed in difficult situations. If you take away the 'if only' excuse you also take away the need to blame and make the other person wrong. (Which is almost as bad as feeling you always have to be compliant or nice. For that's what this is: If you're someone whom others know they can take advantage (they may not even be doing it on purpose, you're just an easy mark!) you need to indicate by what you do that things have changed. If you are being attacked or abused, then aggressively fighting back may welcomel be an appropriate thing to do.
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MessaggioInviato: Lun Apr 23, 2018 10:06 am    Oggetto: Adv



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